People often wonder why someone doesn’t leave an abusive relationship when they find out about it. But it isn’t always that easy for someone in this situation.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be complex, confusing, and overwhelming. In reality, the person might try to leave multiple times before finally being able to break up with their partner.
This article will discuss why ending an abusive relationship can be difficult.
There are many reasons why it can be difficult to leave.
These are just a few reasons why it might be difficult for someone to end a bad relationship.
1. Things will improve.
The person may still be concerned about their partner and hope things improve. They may have promised their partner they would change and then asked for another chance. Sometimes abuse can be cyclical. An abusive phase might be followed by a honeymoon phase, where everything seems perfect. The honeymoon phase may be misleading and lead to another episode.
2. Past trauma
Someone who has suffered a lifetime of abuse may experience a dissociative response or freeze, which is a state where they cannot process what is happening. This can make it harder to respond when abuse occurs.
3. Being gaslighted
This can cause confusion, make the victim question their reality, doubt their motives, and feel helpless. It can be difficult for them not to feel confident about leaving.
4. Having health conditions
The person may have injuries or health conditions–sometimes due to abuse–that can make it difficult for them to leave.
5. Feeling isolated.
Abusers can isolate their partners from their family and friends, making it difficult for them to feel secure. Taking such a big step without a support network can be challenging.
6. Having children with a partner
It can be hard to leave a co-parent. The person might not want to disrupt their children’s lives, end the relationship, or take the children away from the other parent. If the partner is an abusive parent, this can make it difficult. You may be concerned about losing your children, especially if another parent threatens you or tells them they might take them away.
7. Financial dependence
The person may not have a source of income or savings. However, their partner might have financial control. They might need access to cash, cards, or bank accounts.
8. Threats to face
The abuser might have threatened to kill the victim if they tried to flee. These threats could also be directed at their family, friends, and pets.
9. In danger of being killed
Abusive relationships are dangerous. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in five homicides in America is committed by intimate partners. The CDC also reports that more than half of all female homicide victims are former or current intimate partners.
10. It is not possible to recognize abuse.
Sometimes it can be difficult for someone to recognize they are being abused, especially if they have lived with it for a long time.
They may not accept their partner’s actions if they aren’t in healthy and respectful relationships. This is especially true for relationships involving emotional abuse, not sexual or physical abuse.
11. Keeping it together
Society encourages people to keep their relationships going and not to give up. Social stigma is often attached to divorce; even breaking up can be a personal failure. It is tough to find a perfect partner.
12. They avoid admitting to having been abused.
A victim of abuse may feel ashamed, embarrassed, or scared to tell others. Victims are often blamed because they were abused. If their abuser is powerful or well-liked, it may be harder for them to name their abuser.
13. In legal trouble
A person might have tried to seek help but was turned down by the authorities as a domestic dispute. Another possibility is that the person is legally compromised and cannot ask for assistance from the authorities. Their partner could have filed a false case against them, or they might be immigrants and fear deportation.
Deciding to leave
Consider these things if you’re considering leaving an abusive relationship.
- Your partner might have convinced you that they are responsible or that you deserve it. It is possible to believe that you have the power to fix it or that you can be a better partner. It’s not your fault, and you are not responsible for the actions of your abuser.
- Abusive behavior is not love. Your partner might convince you that their abuse, jealousy, or attempts to control you are their way of showing their love or passion. An abusive relationship is not healthy or normal. Love is a mutual need for respect and care.
- Intimate partner violence often escalates. Abuse often escalates. Even though it begins as emotional abuse, it can escalate to physical abuse with each episode. Getting out of the situation as soon and safely as possible is essential.
- Your abuser is not your responsibility: If your abuser struggles, you might try to convince them to seek help. Sometimes, abusers manipulate their partners by threatening to hurt themselves or making them feel incapable of making it on their own. You don’t owe anything to them, but you must prioritize your safety and well-being over theirs.
A Word from Mind Mentor
It may be difficult to leave an abusive relationship if you or your loved one are trapped. This can be a lengthy process that can take several months or even years. It is essential to create a safety plan and work towards it. Many organizations can provide shelter and support.
If you fear that your partner will hurt you or have been threatened in the past, it is crucial to create a safety plan before leaving. To help you make a plan, contact your local safe house.
Interested Reads:
Why Do You Need Marriage Counselling?